Ignorance is Blessed
by RiYuYami
Summary: Italy is sent to spy on the Allies but is curious when he sees two of them lock lips and he must ask Germany why two males kissed like a man kisses a woman. GermanyxItaly humor one-shot with USxUK mentioned


Hey ladies and gents of the Hetalia realm of fanfiction! I'm RiYuYami and this is my very first attempt at writing a story of any sort for Hetalia so forgive me. I'm also going by what I've seen of the anime (all the episodes so far) so forgive me if I'm not PC like those who read the manga.

Summery: Italy is sent to spy on the Allies but is curious when he sees two of them lock lips and he must ask Germany why two males kissed like a man kisses a woman.

Warning: yaoi and stupidity

I own nothing but the silly plot that I came up with today while in English IV.

NOTE! I am a huge fan for Germany/ Italy, it's my favorite pairing in the series so that's what this story mostly is, but there is also England/ America in this as well. (I see America and England switching off as seme and uke, but America is mostly uke because we like it like that from our friend across the pond. *wink* Or at least that's how I see the pairing) Also hinted Spain/ Romano and France/ everyone he can get his hands on.

NOTE II! I know Italy was kissed by a boy (Holy Roman Empire) before as a child, but in this story he doesn't really remember it and he's an ignorant boy, curious of the homosexual world around him. (which seems to be almost the whole world in Hetalia when you think about it…)

NOTE III! I'm not bashing the French, I love France (I've been there at least five times when I lived in Germany) but the guy is so easy to pick on because of how strange he is.

On with the fic!

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**Ignorance is Blessed **

**-Hetalia Germany/ Italy one-shot-**

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"Spy on the Allies…? But Germany…! That's so boring, and they don't like me, and I'm hungry and…!"

SLAM!

Italy winced at the loud slamming of the wooden door that leads into Germany's office. The blond man had told him that it was his turn to spy on their enemies, who happened to not be too far down the hall. Italy frowned; he thought it was Japan's turn to spy, but it seems the smaller had run off somewhere, leaving Italy to take care of today's task given by Germany.

And so, walking down the halls with a rainy cloud above his head, the Italian made his way to where the Allies were suppose to be holding their meeting for the day. Opening the door slightly, he peered through the crack to find America yelling at France.

"France! You redefine what it means to be a moron! We can't beat the Axis by getting them drunk, come on! Germany can handle his alcohol and I'm sure Japan can as well, though getting Italy drunk would be simple and we really don't want to kidnap him again." America sighed and threw a piece of chalk at France, hitting him right in the forehead.

"Oww! That wasn't nice America, let's just end the meeting like we normally do, with no actual plans." France glared at the sandy-blond at the chalk board.

"Fine, you are free for the day." With that said, China, France, and Russia rushed out of the room, with the ghostly Canada and his bear following behind, never being noticed by anyone.

Quietly, Italy sneaked into the room while America and England were cleaning off the chalk board and he sat under the table, watching the two English-speaking men.

"Uhh, I hate when people suggest stupid ideas." America stated as he stretched slightly.

"Well, your ideas aren't any better, you know." England comment and America glared.

"My ideas are brilliant because I'm awesome!" He hollered in defense and the other blond rolled his eyes.

"Keep telling yourself that America." He replied and then noticed that the other looked a bit sad and he smiled softly, walking a little closer to the sandy-blond. "I know they don't listen to you, even when some of your ideas do sound good. Now don't get upset."

America sighed through his nose and looked at England, a small pout on his face. "But I want people to listen to me, I listen to them."

"Yeah, but even if you do listen, they probably don't, though I'm not sure on Russia. That boy seems to always be lost everywhere he goes, even when he's standing still."

"Could be the vodka."

They both looked at each other and laughed at that. America smiled and placed a hand on England's shoulder. "You always know ways to make me smile, even when you're drunk or being weird. But I'm still a little sad, mind making that better for me?"

England smirked and pulled America close. "Of course." Then their lips connected in a soft kiss, but it turned passionate and hard when America started to run his fingers through England's blond locks and England's hands gripped America's ass, all the while little Italy watched in awe at the tender, if not dirty, moment before him and all he could think was:

'The Allies are very friendly with each other.'

Suddenly the door burst open and France came in, dragging poor Spain with him, who was kicking and screaming about not wanting to be raped. The long-haired blond had a devilish grin on his face that dropped when he saw America and England who was still lip-locked and both had wide eyes when they noticed their two extra guests, but still didn't notice the brunet under the table.

France just stared before speaking. "So… I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"No!" England cried.

"Yes!" America hollered.

The other blond was still looking at them before smirking. "So, want to join me and Spain in a little table sex?" He got a very loud 'NO' from the two blonds and Spain before a brunet came bursting into the room, glaring right at France.

"What the hell France?!" Romano screamed and bonked the Frenchman on the head. "Don't touch my Spain anymore then you already do!" He then proceeded to drag the country away, who sadly waved at Italy who was still under the table, very confused by everything but still waved back, wondering what his brother was going to do to poor Spain.

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Germany blinked and looked up from the document he was working on when he saw the door to his office open and saw Italy walk back in. The boy looked extremely confused and that meant that he either had been asked a hard question or he saw something very odd. "Welcome back Italy." The German commented.

Blinking, Italy looked up and then nodded before sitting down in a chair in the room. "Hi Germany…" He lazily waved.

"Hmm, yes. So, what did you find out?"

"Well, I found out that France wanted to have table sex with Spain."

"That's not new."

"And with America and England."

Germany raised and eyebrow and nodded. "Well, that's… kinda new… anything else?"

Italy thought for a moment. "Umm, my brother kidnapped Spain. Also, I saw America and England kiss."

At the moment, Germany had been taking a drink of coffee but hearing the kiss note made him shoot coffee out his mouth and he stared right at Italy in shock. "What the hell did you just say?!"

"I said that England and America were kissing and really hard too. Is that normal for those two countries to do that for their friends to cheer them up?" Italy asked, the poor brunet was the kinda kid who didn't really understand the world around him and usually just focused on the things going on in his own country, unless if it involved food or Germany and Japan.

Germany wasn't sure what to say; didn't Italy know that the kiss was a shared kiss for lovers? He blushed lightly and didn't look at the confused Italian. "Well… umm… that could be considered a gesture in some countries, but not really in those two, though in France a kiss anywhere could probably cheer them up…"

"So… what was the kiss for? England said he was going the cheer up America and then he kissed him."

Standing up, Germany walked over to Italy and placed his hands on the boy's shoulders and looked at him, getting down and being at eye level with him. "Italy, do you know how a man and a woman show love, and don't say sex."

The brunet blinked and tilted his head. "Well, they hug and kiss right? That how my people do it."

"That is true, and it's that way in many other places around this world, but men don't do that to just women..."

"Oh? What do you…?" It seemed he put two-and-two together and he blushed deeply. "Are you saying that… America's a girl!?" Nevermind, he was almost on the right road but ran into a tree of stupidity.

Germany sighed and shook his head, how stupid was this kid? "No, that idiot is a man. And they are boyfriends, they are in love."

Italy tilted his head before smiling. "What about us? We are boy friends just like America and England; does that mean we are in love?"

Now, in secret, Germany did have feeling for his dimwitted ally, but he didn't want Italy knowing that, but maybe this could be his chance? "Well… it depends. Those two are dating, and we are friends, but do you love me Italy…?"

"Huh?" Italy looked a bit confused and pondered the question before leaning up until his face was very close to Germany and he pecked him on the lips. They looked at each other once the brunet pulled away from the kiss, both smiling before Germany placed a hand on Italy's cheek.

"I like you, do you like me?" The blue-eyed man spoke softly before kissing Italy, the boy's eyes widening for a moment at this before his eyes closed and he kissed back. The kiss was soft and tendering, a good feeling for the two countries.

After they pulled away to breath, they looked at each other and smiled and Italy hugged him.

"I like you."

* * *

Peeking from behind the slightly opened door, America and England watched the cute scene before them and turned to each other and grinned. "I always knew there was something between them." England spoke in a hushed voice, not wanting the other two to know that they were there.

America nodded and gave England's hand a small squeeze as they looked at each other and then…

"HEY! Who are you spying on guys?!"

Everyone was alerted by the loud voice of France, who was dragging Canada behind him, as he came down the hall. Suddenly the door opened fully and the two English-speakers turned to find a very pissed off Germany and a curious Italy.

"What the hell are you two doing at my door and France you're dead!" The three blonds ran like their asses were on fire as Germany chased after them. Standing in the hallway, Italy watched them run off, being left with an off young man who smiled softly at him.

"Hello, I'm Canada." The blond smiled and Italy smiled at him.

"I'm Italy, what just happened?"

"I don't know, I got kidnapped and then everyone started running."

Italy only laughed and waited for Germany to come back so they could kiss again.

Meanwhile, Germany was busy smacking France with a coo-koo clock and America and England were hiding in a tree.

END

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To be honest, I only have the kiss scenes and France kidnapping people planned, everything else was… bullshitted when I wrote this. Personally, I think Italy would be a bit confused by some things like this… or maybe I've been watching TOO many Hetalia Hell videos…

Why is Canada in here? Because I think he needed some fic time.

Please be nice when you review, this is my first Hetalia story and this is suppose to be random as hell, I am not being serious in this story at all, but I do think that France would kidnap people even if I was serious (which I never am).

Please review.


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